| mindgrowths, such as... |
[04 Feb 2009|11:46pm] |
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music |
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Kanye West - 808's & Heartbreaks |
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APRIL ON: LOVE
don't analyze it, go with that flow yo,
that way you'll never be upset
and don't, and i mean don't
ever expect anything from a guy, that way you'll never be dissapointed
its every girls mistake until you find that one that was the asshole.
you're gonna have your sweetheart that was just a really big crush
and he made you smile and glow for a little...
but that gets boring
and then you have your boyfriend who's more like your best friend
who showed you what love was and the ups and downs of it all...
but then you guys are just better off friends
then theres gonna be the one who you put your entire heart into.
you love them so much it hurts,
and the thought of being away from him makes it hard to breathe
and he'll realize that, slowly but surely...
and then he'll stop giving you what you want
'cause everything he gave you before will come and go
until he doesnt think of you at all anymore...
until you realize, as much as it hurts, you have to do without him.
and now you're at the state of mind
where you don't expect anything
and you're not quick to find another one...
you prance lightly around the thought of it,
you flirt with the idea of mingling
instead of immersing yourself completely into one person...
you're gonna be totally into yourself.
'cause nobody loves you more than you do.
***
APRIL ON: DANCING
dancing is moving your body,
sculpting it into a work of art;
and for the love of art
move to your hearts content.
make your veins sparkle inside
with the melody of the music.
tap and twirl and kick-ball-change
let your soul free.
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[31 Jan 2009|01:01pm] |
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music |
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fraaaaaanzzzz- come on home <3333 |
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The Coachella line-up this year is incredible. I can't wait to go!
My Fronz Ferdinond will be there and I just know I'm gonna hang-out with them...
It's gonna be the shit.
<3ape
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[30 Jan 2009|10:44pm] |
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franz- no you girls |
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I'm officially in love with Franz Ferdinand...I saw them at Amoeba tonight, it was one of the BEST shows i've ever been to.
I met Alex Kaprano's!
I would love it so much to follow them everywhere they go. I would be their band-aid <3
<3ape
It was a truly amazing night...pictures coming soooooon.
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[30 Jan 2009|03:09am] |
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john lennon - jealous guy |
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there is nothing to be unhappy about...ive got the cutest kitty in all creation sitting next to me...nothings wrong in my heart, im all smiles...
dont sweat the small stuff, ive got to remember that.
goodnight folks,
franz ferdinand tomorrow!!!!!
<3ape
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[21 Jan 2009|10:52pm] |
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mood |
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 determined |
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Britney Spears - Phonography |
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I was watching 2 Days In Paris, I forgot how much I loved this movie, there was one part that got to me most. It made me realize that I am not alone in these silly twisted up feelings. Honestly, I'm much too young to be trippin' about love. I decided 2009 is gonna be my year, Ima make shit happen for myself...I'm going to work seriously and be determined with my career.
Back to the subject...I found this quote from the movie and it describes practically everything...
"It always fascinated me how people go from loving you madly to nothing at all, nothing. It hurts so much. When I feel someone is going to leave me, I have a tendency to break up first before I get to hear the whole thing. Here it is. One more, one less. Another wasted love story. I really love this one. When I think that its over, that I'll never see him again like this... well yes, I'll bump into him, we'll meet our new boyfriend and girlfriend, act as if we had never been together, then we'll slowly think of each other less and less until we forget each other completely. Almost. Always the same for me. Break up, break down. Drunk up, fool around. Meet one guy, then another, fuck around. Forget the one and only. Then after a few months of total emptiness start again to look for true love, desperately look everywhere and after two years of loneliness meet a new love and swear it is the one, until that one is gone as well. There's a moment in life where you can't recover any more from another break-up. And even if this person bugs you sixty percent of the time, well you still can’t live without him. And even if he wakes you up every day by sneezing right in your face, well you love his sneezes more than anyone else's kisses."
-Marion / 2 Days in Paris
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[19 Jan 2009|08:51pm] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
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music |
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Jenny Lewis - Acid Tongue |
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Alright,
either I need a change of scene here or I have to go home to KS soon.
Eddie is the only friend I have here worth staying for, and my mom, but besides that my heart is in the wrong place here.
About a year ago I could've said there is no place like LA and I was happy as a clam. Now I don't know what to do here.
I'm recording with a few people and making music, I know thats easier to find here. I just need to find myself first.
I'm tired of these 24 friendships and one month love flings.
I'll write more on the subject later, I'm gonna go make some music that'll save some souls soon.
<3APRIL
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| My thoughts on the big bad city... |
[13 Jan 2009|06:01pm] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
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music |
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Lily Allen - The Fear |
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Sometimes I wake-up in cold sweats wondering what the fuck I'm still doing here.
I'm much happier in Kansas.
<3APRIL
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[17 Aug 2008|10:52pm] |
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mood |
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 discontent |
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music |
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my song is in my head, title unknown as of yet. |
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howdy journal friends--
I've just put up a website of my poetry, and my chapbook is in the works.
I've been reading aloud at open-mic nights with very good reviews.
my site needs a lot of work, but what I've got up, I hope you enjoy.
the clove pages ::: poetry of april eileen henry
Other than poetry things seem to be going pretty weird.
Someone from the past has re-entered my life in strange ways.
Dan is keeping me in the dark about things,
I mean, if he doesn't want to be with me I want him to be able to tell me,
or if I'm being silly and he still wants something, he can tell me too.
I don't want him to keep stringing me along like this.
I know times for him are really hard, but I never had a boyfriend like him before,
and trying to think less of him is hard.
I told myself regarding everything he's going through,
that I would be prepared if he decided not to talk for awhile.
I'm not quite as prepared as I thought.
My brother should be coming to LA soon, once he gets the go-ahead from his PO.
I'm taking some time off of work to get started on my music.
I need to find a band, the name is April and The Fools,
though it's only April, I haven't any fools yet.
I'm going to Kansas before this year is out,
and I think I need to be there for awhile.
I need to reconnect with myself,
and living in LA interrupts that motion.
I'm going to be reading poetry at the Cobalt Cafe Tuesday night @ 9.
Karma Coffeehouse Wednesday @ 7
and this place I'm really jazzed about called Soapbox Sessions
those are Thursday's @ 7.
It's outside the Coffee Bean on Ventura&Woodley,
and it's atmosphere is just wonderful.
Now, I go make music.
g'night folks. :)
-April-
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| i dunno, my guitar is in my moms car :\ |
[29 Jun 2008|10:36am] |
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music |
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bob dylan - if you see her say hello |
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How's your heart lately?
kind of in a confusion at the moment.
though everything i do i base on the heart.
Do you miss anyone?
I miss someone a great deal right now,
and I hope he misses me too.
Can you recall the last time you sincerely liked someone?
Well, I really like my boyfriend.
When is the last time someone of the opposite sex gave you a hug?
thursday, i believe.
My favorite fag Eddie gave me a hug.
Who is your celebrity crush?
Emile HIrsch forever
Can you touch your toes?
mhmm
Do you know anybody who was abused?
Most likely.
Do you take walks often?
I take a walk every night, around my neighborhood.
I have a cigarette and walk and think.
Is silence really golden?
I used to think things were better left unsaid,
now I realize you've got to say things from the heart,
cause if you don't, it could be too late.
Do you have any interesting tattoos/piercings?
My two baby birdies on my shoulder. :)
I want another tattoo soon.
Are you afraid to grow up?
I've already grown-up.
Who were you with last night?
Myself and my guitar.
Can you count past 100?
Sure I can
What language do you want to learn?
French, and fluently.
Any upcoming vacations?
Nah.
Do you care what people think of you?
Never
Would you call yourself smart?
Oh yeah.
Do you like to read?
I just finished the most amazing book,
now I've got to find another book equally immersing.
I could read forever.
Have you ever touched an elephant?
Nope.
Plans for tomorrow?
Work, work, work...when will work stop?!
Confessions:
Is anything wrong?
Quite a bit, actually, I'd love to tell him everything I feel.
I know I wouldn't hold back now,
I called him yesterday, he hasn't called me back.
I know a lot is going on inside his head at the moment, I just hope it's not too late.
Do you have a good relationship with your parent(s)?
My mom is the best person in the world.
What did you do for your last birthday?
Went to the park with Natalie, though that was the day of.
My birthday lasted all week.
What were you doing at midnight last night?
Writing some songs.
Name something you CANNOT wait for?
Sounds kind of cheesy...
when I see him again.
What's your favorite season?
Spring!
Last thing you ate/drank?
I had something for breakfast yesterday.
Have you ever ran with scissors?
.
Who’s making you feel the way you are right now?
My danny tambourine,
'ey i'm makin music atleast.
Most visited web page?
now that I know more chords than A,E,F,G....
ultimate-guitar.com
Coke or Pepsi?
Coffee
Looking forward to something this weekend?
Weekends over.
How many siblings do you have?
2 brothers
1 half sister
1 sister in law
Do you have any pets?
Couldn't live without my cats.
What's your favorite number?
13
What are you watching right now?
i watched be kind rewind last night.
Is good grammar attractive?
Ohh, yeah it is.
Friend confessions:
Are you jealous of one or more of your friends?
I'm never jealous of anyone.
Jealousy is not a good trait to have.
Have you known any of your friends your whole life?
Not really, no.
Are any of your friends taller than you?
yeah, Eddie is.
Have you ever been ditched by a friend?
Plenty of times.
Where do your friends live?
Most of them here, most of them in Kansas.
Have you lost or forgotten a friends phone number?
probably.
Have you been to most of your friends house?
Yeah.
Love confessions:
Do you currently like someone?
Yeah I like my boyfriend.
Do you get bored of your girlfriend/boyfriend easily?
Never.
Has one of your crushes ever called you self centered before?
Nope.
Personal opinion confessions:
Who do you want for President?
Obama for your momma.
Do you think abortions are horrible?
Depends on the person
Needles aren't so horrible?
Yeah, they're a little scary.
Other confessions:
Do you enjoy drama?
Nope, it's pointless.
Now acting in drama is another story.
Who was the last person that said "i love you" to you?
my mom.
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[17 May 2008|11:19pm] |
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music |
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nada surf- blonde on blonde |
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this book is lifechanging.
it's probably the best book i've ever read in my life.
i guarantee you'll love it.
and while you're at it
watch
a love song for bobby long
it's an incredible film.
just thought i ought to pass on some information on
literature and film that sticks with you.
on another note,
this happiness still lingers.
a 100 degree temperature isn't the best,
but it'll pass.
and go listen to tresspasers william.
the song different stars will burn a fire in your soul.
goodnight,
april
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[16 Apr 2008|08:56pm] |
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music |
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idiot wind - bob dylan |
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my teen years as i know it, are coming to an end. i'm 19 years old and a year from now i'll be a true adult. it's scary, but it's only another year.
if i could get all my emotions and realizations on paper it would be incredible. my mom, brother, best friend and boyfriend dan are all good spirits. honestly there is so much to say now, i've got happiness blooming from everywhere. i can hardly pinpoint one event to the next, so here's something.
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[08 Apr 2008|11:14pm] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
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music |
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joni mitchell | for free |
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here it is in a few short words.
since i can hardly describe it...
i've got a wonderful boyfriend
and i left my heart in san francisco.
yosemite was wonderful.
that's about all.
pictures will come soon.
peace to all,
april
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[16 Mar 2008|04:04pm] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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music |
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the stones | shes a rainbow |
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this incandescent happiness still has not left me.
everything is truly wonderful right now.
that's all.
peace to all,
april eileen henry
i wrote this the other night in his company...
through short periods of time
my mood expires.
typically a glow dies through the evening
though my stars are aligned with my spirit tonight.
my lucky stars
you're third times the charm.
in perfect rotation,
though you're always there to shine for me each night.
my sweet little lucky stars.
somewhere young in the night
you walked right through me
showed me an insindiary breeze i'd never known.
lucky stars...
diamond meadows
a lonely world you pulled me away from.
in my otherworldly daze,
you were a certain star that got my eye.
showing me my blackbird nature,
i flew right with it, my lucky stars.
you could've fooled me,
your beautiful words still have me flyin'
you handsome lad.
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[04 Mar 2008|09:24pm] |
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mood |
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calm |
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music |
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see my quote |
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i don't want to jinx it or anything,
but everything seems to be falling into place.
i got a job at betsey johnson, couldn't be happier.
friends and family are well.
and it doesn't hurt that i've got a certain charming and handsome individual to make music with.
i'm just generally happy.
that's all.
peace to all,
april eileen henry
my ending quote is silly,
but it's got a lot to do with the present situation.
'Cold, late night so long ago
when I was not so strong you know
A pretty man came to me
I never seen eyes so blue
You know, I could not run away it seemed
we'd seen each other in a dream
Seemed like he knew me....he looked right through me....yeah
"Come on home, girl" he said with a smile
"you don't have to love me yet, let's get high awhile
But try to understand...try to understand
Try, try, try to understand.....I'm a magic man."
-heart magic man
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[02 Mar 2008|12:45pm] |
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mood |
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honestly, i don't know. |
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music |
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explosions in the sky |
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i don't know what it was, or how it happened...but it did.
i met him two days ago and already im floating.
i'm not sure if it was the thrill of this random encounter or if its a total soul connection.
i spent two days with him, i didn't even know him.
alright, let me put it to you this way...
i met a boy,
his soul alight with the stars tonight.
pure motions,
potions in my mind.
one day underneath the crystal sky
he appeared with a cloud of smoke.
he came about the world in a wintertime fog,
snowy creations always inspired me most.
we speak to eachother through our eyes,
words escape me when i try to explain what i see.
i always said springtime was time for a change.
no words describe this ethereal vibration
and all im left with is awe.
i was never this kind of girl to be so wrapped up within a day, i'm not sure how it happened.
something inspired this, and i'm not sure what has gotten into me.
peace to all,
april eileen henry.
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| i drink your milkshake. |
[14 Feb 2008|10:28pm] |
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mood |
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calm |
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music |
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lux aetna from requiem for a dream |
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Things are becoming all to redundant.
I've got happiness fuming out of my ears, but still I feel uncertain.
All I'm trying to say is, I miss kansas.
Sincerely,
April.
"Destiny is a feeling you have that you know something about yourself nobody else does. The picture you have in your own mind of what you're about will come true. It's a kind of a thing you kind of have to keep to your own self, because it's a fragile feeling, and you put it out there, then someone will kill it. It's best to keep that all inside."
-Bob Dylan, December 5, 2004
^in a nutshell.
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| moondog's got my heart this eveving. |
[03 Feb 2008|10:17pm] |
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music |
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same as a moment ago. |
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some of moondogs 50 couplets for ya.
he's quite profound in a million ways.
37.
A skeleton's in your closet and a mirror's in there too.
You're looking in the mirror and the skeleton's none but you.
33.
"The City is a cancer on the body politic."
"The atom shall remove the growth that makes the patient sick."
22.
I see her in the midnight sky, my fairest of the fair.
She's dancing on a crescent moon and stars are in her hair.
(when a man recites this to me, i can say i've fallen in love)
39.
A mole in a hole, a mut in a hut, a mouse in a house, makes three.
I'm sure you could think of many more, but three are enough for me.
27.
A snail, whose house was on his back; amused a passing mouse.
Unhurt, the snail replied with cheer, "the laughs are on the house."
28.
You couldn't tell me more than when you looked into my eyes.
Now, you are there and i am here; and hope within me dies.
and just for kicks...
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[03 Feb 2008|10:06pm] |
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mood |
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 artistic |
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music |
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pixies | here comes your man |
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i told my long lost little sis this in a comment recently, it rings true;
an' don't worry about it, demons have gotten the best of me lately too.
its just our choice to either end this demonic presence or to drag it along with us.
'You pity me in exile? Well, then pity if you must,
but live - before your dear identity is lost in dust.'
-Loius T. Hardin aka Moondog
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| this post goes out to some real damn troopers. |
[27 Jan 2008|02:47pm] |
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mood |
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thankful |
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music |
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eddie vedder - no ceiling |
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these words have stuck with me in insane ways.
in short, they kind of helped me regain hope in humankind and myself.
I know they are no longer with us, except for one incredibly charming individual.
here goes everything...
POEM
Jack Kerouac
'I could become a great grinning host
like a skeleton
Hung up in Heaven.'
Excert from Wild Orphan
Allen Ginsberg
'to create
out of his own imagination
the beauty of his wild
forebears-a mythology
he cannot inherit.
Will he later hallucinate
his gods? Walking
among mysteries with
an insane gleam
of recollection?'
A letter from Bob Dylan
Robert Zimmerman
out! out! brief candle.
life's but an open window
an' i must jump back thru it now.
se yuh
respectfully an' unrespectfully.
sincerely,
april eileen henry
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